I absolutely agree with you that 5 years is a long time. We both actually were planning to get married, but I never proposed because I didn't want to have our children suffer when both of us didn't have a career going yet. I do love her, but it appears that she's set to move on. That's okay.
I have come to realize that you should NOT love someone with the expectation of having that love reciprocated. That's the wrong reason to love someone. You should love someone because you DO, not because you want something in return. You also have to be careful about wanting something that you cannot have: it'll make you unhappy. So, why not focus on just being happy with what you've got?
That's how I have been feeling since Thanksgiving: love her because you do, not because you feel empty. I'll continue to be there for her, and if she doesn't need anything, that's okay. Knowing that I did something to make her happy is all the reciprocation that I need. That's genuine love.
You are right -- nobody is perfect. Since she was my first love, there were many mistakes that I made, and in turn hurt her tremendously (unintentionally most of the time.) I've learned from them, addressed them, and improved upon them. Initially, it was with the hope to woo her back. Come to think of it... No. The improvements should be made for ME. With pride I can now say that I am definitely a better person now than before.
Lexi, all advice is good, even if from someone who may never have experienced it before.
Opposites do attract
Oftentimes, myself included, people think that they want someone who's SIMILAR to you. Do you really want to be with someone who's just like you? Or would you rather be with someone who is slightly different, keeps interesting you, understands you, brings out the best in you, just makes you feel good and just GENUINELY loves you even if you become disfigured?
I've already decided to no longer pursue my ex-girlfriend. Despite the pain she was put through and despite the improvements I have made, if she does not see the good in me now but continues to only see and foster on what went wrong in the PAST, then that's okay. Although she somewhat has the right to do so, I can no longer allow her to hurt me like she has been the past months.
I've come to realize that "I'm worth it." I know that I am a good person. I know I'm not stupid. I'm a person with good heart, hard-working, family-oriented, children-loving, now more honest than ever, cooks, cleans, enjoys life, is friendly with people, has morals, and so on. I know that I have become and will continue to become a very worthy friend, person, future husband and father. Sound selfish? Got to be. You cannot let other people put you down, not even by someone you love. I am proud of who I have become
Life moves on. You should not need another person to complete you or make you happy. YOU should make YOURSELF happy before you can share that happiness with others
I sincerely do hope that she will someday find someone who makes her eternally happy and GENUINELY loves her, although a former friend of mine does worry me with what his true intentions may be. At least I know that I'm a good person and would not do what 2 of his closest friends and another co-worker, who has been with the company for over 20 years, said he would likely do. Long story. Don't ask
My hands are tied. I truly wish my ex the best and sincerely hope that she won't be hurt. If she does get hurt, this former friend of mine will have to deal with me.
Okay, enough "me" talk. Starting to sound stuck-up now
How did you meet your fiance? What did you two do, if you don't mind me asking?
Energy pills? No, no no, don't take those... Work out
I've actually purchased a life-time membership to 24 Hour Fitness the other day and plan on taking full advantage of it. 10 lbs. That's the goal for the next 3 months
Lean and toned. More energy, better sleep, better attention span, better way of life. Period.
San Francisco: I loved Muir Woods, the Golden Gate Park and its Japanese Tea Garden, that famous, windy road (forgot what it's called), Fisherman's Wharf, Sausalito, even Chinatown was an interesting experience.
Which reminds me: the Exploratorium is GREAT. Bring your student ID with you for a discount.
If you plan on going to Alcatraz, try to book a month ahead. We've learned the hard way: there were no tickets available.
San Francisco also tends to get quite cold. So, late spring and summer would be the best times to go.
Santa Barbara was beautiful... despite the rainy days when we went.
Nightclubs? I'm not that type either although I do would like to experience one someday.
Take the bay tour at Fisherman's Wharf. The boat will cruise you around Alcatraz, under the Golden Gate Bridge, and back to the Wharf. Last time I went, there were sealions. Pretty neat.
Have fun on your vacation (if you haven't already gone)!
Michael