Joke: One saggy boob talking to the other
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 9:26 pm
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
If we don't get support soon, people will think we're nuts.
If we don't get support soon, people will think we're nuts.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:01 am
LOL* still cracks me up!
Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 7:30 pm
Very cute! Tell us another joke... I need a good laugh tonight. 
Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 5:39 am
That joke came from STUFF magazine, the funniest and most interesting of all the men's magazines. Oddly enough though, I don't really care much for the pictures (no, I still look at them once, but I've never oogled over them -- they just don't do anything for me.) The articles sometimes are just hilarious. I particularly like the "Quick Facts" that are scattered all over the mag.
You need a quick laugh tonight? What's up?
You need a quick laugh tonight? What's up?
Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 5:51 am
Hi! Good morning!
Nothings up... just a hectic evening.
Stuff Magazine, huh? I've never really read it. Ha! Unlike you, the times that I have briefly glanced at that magazine it has been to oogle over the girls while wishing my assets looked that great.
Anyway, I am sure you are right. I have heard that these types of magazines do have good articles.
Sooo, no more jokes? shucks...
Nothings up... just a hectic evening.
Stuff Magazine, huh? I've never really read it. Ha! Unlike you, the times that I have briefly glanced at that magazine it has been to oogle over the girls while wishing my assets looked that great.
Anyway, I am sure you are right. I have heard that these types of magazines do have good articles.
Sooo, no more jokes? shucks...
Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 6:20 am
FHM, Stuff, and Maxim -- Stuff has the funniest articles. FHM has the hottest girls. Maxim has the biggest budget.
At least that's the impression I got out of them.
Okay, let me find you a joke from the most recent issue of FHM or Maxim. I haven't received this month's Stuff yet.
Here we go: FHM's Joke of the Month:
Three smiling corposes are lying in an Alabama morgue, and a detective arrives to determine the causes of death -- and why they're smiling.
The coroner points to the first dead man. "This is Jed," he says. "He died after winning $23 million in the state lottery."
He then moves on to the second smiling corpse. "This is Otis. He died in the middle of having sex with Trudy May."
Finally, he moves on to the last smiling corpse. "This is Jim Bob. He died after being struck by lightning."
"Why in the hell was he smiling?" the detective asks.
"Well," the coroner says, "ol' Jim Bob here thought he was having his picture taken."
That was kind of lame... Gotta go to work. Ciao!
How's Sacramento?
Michael
At least that's the impression I got out of them.
Okay, let me find you a joke from the most recent issue of FHM or Maxim. I haven't received this month's Stuff yet.
Here we go: FHM's Joke of the Month:
Three smiling corposes are lying in an Alabama morgue, and a detective arrives to determine the causes of death -- and why they're smiling.
The coroner points to the first dead man. "This is Jed," he says. "He died after winning $23 million in the state lottery."
He then moves on to the second smiling corpse. "This is Otis. He died in the middle of having sex with Trudy May."
Finally, he moves on to the last smiling corpse. "This is Jim Bob. He died after being struck by lightning."
"Why in the hell was he smiling?" the detective asks.
"Well," the coroner says, "ol' Jim Bob here thought he was having his picture taken."
That was kind of lame... Gotta go to work. Ciao!
How's Sacramento?
Michael
Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 7:29 am
yeah, kind of lame, but I loved it! Thanks for making me laugh! 
Gotta go run some errands. I'll be home late at around 10:00 P.M. this evening and I will try to respond more then. I will for sure come by before I head back to Sacramento to fill you in on all of my adventures.
Have a fantastic day!
Gotta go run some errands. I'll be home late at around 10:00 P.M. this evening and I will try to respond more then. I will for sure come by before I head back to Sacramento to fill you in on all of my adventures.
Have a fantastic day!
Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 8:51 pm
Hi Michael,
Sacramento is fine. Thank you for asking. It's actually going pretty well. I don't feel as if I am learning anything new or really supervising anybody. I am leading a division that consists of three other people besides myself. They pretty much know what they are doing and don't really need me there. Not sure why they even needed to hire someone to be their supervisor while they recruit for filling the permanent position. These people are very professional and in my opinion could have done just fine without me. I am very grateful for the opportunity though.
I know my new job was not too crazy about the idea of me leaving this week but I had some personal business to take care of that could not be postponed. Oh well! It's not like I did not warn them them that I would need a few days off in July before the hired me.
I was met with a few busy days upon my return which is why I was thrilled for the levity in your saggy boob joke. Too funny! I felt compelled to peer down my blouse after I read that. Nope! Not saggy yet.
Anyway, enough about me. Tell me another joke!
Sacramento is fine. Thank you for asking. It's actually going pretty well. I don't feel as if I am learning anything new or really supervising anybody. I am leading a division that consists of three other people besides myself. They pretty much know what they are doing and don't really need me there. Not sure why they even needed to hire someone to be their supervisor while they recruit for filling the permanent position. These people are very professional and in my opinion could have done just fine without me. I am very grateful for the opportunity though.
I know my new job was not too crazy about the idea of me leaving this week but I had some personal business to take care of that could not be postponed. Oh well! It's not like I did not warn them them that I would need a few days off in July before the hired me.
I was met with a few busy days upon my return which is why I was thrilled for the levity in your saggy boob joke. Too funny! I felt compelled to peer down my blouse after I read that. Nope! Not saggy yet.
Anyway, enough about me. Tell me another joke!
Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:17 pm
Glad you like your Sacramento job. Perhaps they are recruiting someone permanent because they need someone to hold accountable to if something goes wrong.
The saggy boob job is courtesy of MB's discovery.
Here's one from Maxim. I haven't read it yet and will be reading it as it's being typed:
Free Love
A man escapes from prison, breaks into a house, and finds a couple sleeping. He orders the husband out of bed at knifepoint and ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, he kisses her neck for a minute. Then the criminal gets up and goes to the bathroom.
The husband hurriedly leans over and whispers to his wife, "This guy is an escaped convict. He's probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist -- just do whatever he tells you, and with any luck we'll make it out alive. Stay strong, honey. I love you."
"Oh, he wasn't kissing my neck," his wife whispers back. "He was talking in my ear. He told me he thought you were really cute and then asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom under the sink. Stay strong, honey. I love you, too."
Eh... that was lame too.
Michael
The saggy boob job is courtesy of MB's discovery.
Here's one from Maxim. I haven't read it yet and will be reading it as it's being typed:
Free Love
A man escapes from prison, breaks into a house, and finds a couple sleeping. He orders the husband out of bed at knifepoint and ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, he kisses her neck for a minute. Then the criminal gets up and goes to the bathroom.
The husband hurriedly leans over and whispers to his wife, "This guy is an escaped convict. He's probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist -- just do whatever he tells you, and with any luck we'll make it out alive. Stay strong, honey. I love you."
"Oh, he wasn't kissing my neck," his wife whispers back. "He was talking in my ear. He told me he thought you were really cute and then asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom under the sink. Stay strong, honey. I love you, too."
Eh... that was lame too.
Michael
Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 5:56 am
Ha! I liked this one, too!
You know, I have no problem with homosexuality, in fact, I strongly believe in people having the freedom to do their own thing but the thought of me personally being with another female is intensely gross to me. Just could not get into it...
Hey, I just might have to subscribe to these mag's of yours. Tell me another! I'll think of one, too and post it when I get home tonight. I'm going to a birthday party but I should be home around the same time.
Have a great day!
You know, I have no problem with homosexuality, in fact, I strongly believe in people having the freedom to do their own thing but the thought of me personally being with another female is intensely gross to me. Just could not get into it...
Hey, I just might have to subscribe to these mag's of yours. Tell me another! I'll think of one, too and post it when I get home tonight. I'm going to a birthday party but I should be home around the same time.
Have a great day!
Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 5:55 am
Went to a friends son birthday party last night. It was at the Discovery Center in Santa Ana. You know, that place with the huge cube that you can see off the 5 freeway. It was really fun, but man am I glad that I don't have any children right now...
Have a great day!
Have a great day!
Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 6:14 pm
i read that one! before you posted it. lol* and the man that escaped from prison. haha*
yes, i go thru that magazine too....just to read the articles and jokes and maybe occasionally oogle at the girls. j/k....or am i?
yes, i go thru that magazine too....just to read the articles and jokes and maybe occasionally oogle at the girls. j/k....or am i?
Mikey_ wrote: Here we go: FHM's Joke of the Month:
Three smiling corposes are lying in an Alabama morgue, and a detective arrives to determine the causes of death -- and why they're smiling.
The coroner points to the first dead man. "This is Jed," he says. "He died after winning $23 million in the state lottery."
He then moves on to the second smiling corpse. "This is Otis. He died in the middle of having sex with Trudy May."
Finally, he moves on to the last smiling corpse. "This is Jim Bob. He died after being struck by lightning."
"Why in the hell was he smiling?" the detective asks.
"Well," the coroner says, "ol' Jim Bob here thought he was having his picture taken."
Michael
Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:27 pm
I took care of a few things that I had pending and now it's time to go back. It's time to go back to work. 
Tomorrow I will be volunteerring at a beach clean-up and I go back to work on Sunday but I will return for a long weekend in the middle of August.
Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying the change of pace but I miss my friends and family in OC. I will won't be looking for a permanent position in Sacramento anytime soon.
O.k., I have a joke for you. Someone sent this one to me yesterday...
A husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks at her husband and winks at him, he gets the message and says, "Excuse us for a few minutes boys, we're going up to our room for a little while."
Pretty soon one of the boys becomes curious, goes upstairs and sees the door to his parents bedroom is ajar. He peeks in for a few minutes, trots downstairs, gets his little brother and takes him up to peek into the bedroom.
"Before you look in there," he says, "keep in mind this is the same woman who paddled our butts just for sucking our thumbs."
I know, I know... pretty lame but I this one made me smile since it involved one of my worst nightmares... walking in on my parents. Could anything be more gross? Ewww...
Doing my laundry to save me the trouble when I get back to work. My mom couldn't believe it when I walked through my front door last week with 2 suitcases full of dirty clothes. I never even tried that back when I was in college. I knew I was coming home in a few weeks and so I let my dirty clothes accumulate so that I could bring it home to wash. I won't do that for my next trip home. Too much trouble. I think it's probably easier for everyone involved if I just do my laundry over there.
Got a pedicure today. Have to show off my sexy feet at the beach tomorrow. Just kidding! Nobody is going to be lokking at my feet and I could care less. I just felt like getting a pedicure. They painted an American flag on my big toe for me.
Hope you liked my joke. Gotta go check on my clothes.
Take care!
Tomorrow I will be volunteerring at a beach clean-up and I go back to work on Sunday but I will return for a long weekend in the middle of August. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying the change of pace but I miss my friends and family in OC. I will won't be looking for a permanent position in Sacramento anytime soon.
O.k., I have a joke for you. Someone sent this one to me yesterday...
A husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks at her husband and winks at him, he gets the message and says, "Excuse us for a few minutes boys, we're going up to our room for a little while."
Pretty soon one of the boys becomes curious, goes upstairs and sees the door to his parents bedroom is ajar. He peeks in for a few minutes, trots downstairs, gets his little brother and takes him up to peek into the bedroom.
"Before you look in there," he says, "keep in mind this is the same woman who paddled our butts just for sucking our thumbs."
I know, I know... pretty lame but I this one made me smile since it involved one of my worst nightmares... walking in on my parents. Could anything be more gross? Ewww...
Doing my laundry to save me the trouble when I get back to work. My mom couldn't believe it when I walked through my front door last week with 2 suitcases full of dirty clothes. I never even tried that back when I was in college. I knew I was coming home in a few weeks and so I let my dirty clothes accumulate so that I could bring it home to wash. I won't do that for my next trip home. Too much trouble. I think it's probably easier for everyone involved if I just do my laundry over there.
Got a pedicure today. Have to show off my sexy feet at the beach tomorrow. Just kidding! Nobody is going to be lokking at my feet and I could care less. I just felt like getting a pedicure. They painted an American flag on my big toe for me.
Hope you liked my joke. Gotta go check on my clothes.
Take care!
Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 12:12 am
hmm.....how come i didn't get the joke at first?
i had to read it mutiple times before i figured it.......
i hate doing laundry as well, i can never get my white t-shirts as white as my mom does it. i
i had to read it mutiple times before i figured it.......
i hate doing laundry as well, i can never get my white t-shirts as white as my mom does it. i
Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 11:30 am
Heh, funny...
Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 10:58 pm
HA! Don't feel too bad, Eddy. After I read that joke, it took me a few minutes before I got it, too... our minds must be too innocent!
Hope you are doing well.
Hope you are doing well.
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 12:26 pm
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine
children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives,
they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit
onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while,
the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind
man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a
piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me
crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of
YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up."
children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives,
they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit
onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while,
the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind
man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a
piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me
crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of
YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up."
Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 7:50 pm
Grandma and grandpa were watching a religious healing program on tv. The Evngelist called to all who wanted to be healed, to put one hand on the tv and the other on the body part they wanted healed. Grandma hobbled to the tv and put one hand on the tv and the other on her arthritic hip. Grandpa made his way to the set and put one hand on the tv and the other on his crotch. Grandma looked at him with disgust: "You just don't understand, you old coot...the purpose of this program is to heal the sick, not raise the dead.
Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 9:17 am
Hehehe.
Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:24 pm
you like that huh? lol*
today is my first day working at u.s. bank. so far so good
i asked again about my opportunity to getting promoted to branch/assistant manager. the branch manager here said that her and her boss are seriously considering it. i just need to be patient. woo hoo!
people here are nice and i really like how my schedule is looking. i got the next 3 weekends off for this month. YAY! that means i can go hiking and kayaking or whatever.
ok, gotta go and try to look busy.
[EDIT: it's so freakin' COLD at this branch. my fingers are blue!]
today is my first day working at u.s. bank. so far so good
i asked again about my opportunity to getting promoted to branch/assistant manager. the branch manager here said that her and her boss are seriously considering it. i just need to be patient. woo hoo!people here are nice and i really like how my schedule is looking. i got the next 3 weekends off for this month. YAY! that means i can go hiking and kayaking or whatever.
ok, gotta go and try to look busy.
[EDIT: it's so freakin' COLD at this branch. my fingers are blue!]